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Tips On Writing A Eulogy

When writing a eulogy, you should always remember that you are not writing a book about the deceased. So, keep it short and sweet, and make your words count. If possible, write a eulogy you can deliver in no more than five minutes.

To help you out, we have listed out some useful tips to help you write a beautiful, meaningful eulogy that everyone can appreciate.

  • Make sure you choose a positive tone

When writing a eulogy, make sure that the overall tone is positive. Focus on the positive qualities of the deceased. If he/she lived a difficult or troubled life, you dont have to talk about that. The audience probably already knows it, and it will only make mourning that much more difficult. So, choose to focus on their positive traits.

  • Keep it personal by sharing anecdotes and stories

Remember to include humorous or heart-warming stories and anecdotes about the deceased, maybe something that both of you experienced. You can use these stories to support a point that you are trying to make, like how they possessed a positive quality. For example, if you want to share that he/she was someone who was giving and generous, you can share a story to support that.

  • Dont talk about yourself for too long

Always keep in mind that even though you are the one delivering the eulogy, it is not about you. So, dont make it about yourself. just give a brief introduction, stating your name and how you are related to/know the deceased, and thats all you have to say about yourself. Avoid using too many first person pronouns like I and me.

  • Close it with comforting words and say your last goodbye

Finally, make sure to close your eulogy with words that lend peace and comfort. You can talk about valuable life lessons the deceased taught you, or something similar. Then, end it with one, last goodbye.

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Top 5 Most Appropriate Flowers For Funerals

Flowers are an important part of a funeral, mainly because they hold so much meaning and significance. Based on how you want your loved one to be remembered, to symbolize a certain trait that they were known for, or to express a certain sentiment, you can choose the kind of flowers to be showcased during the funeral ceremony.

Below, we outline the five most popular flowers used in funerals and what they represent.

  • Lilies

Lilies, especially white lilies, are perhaps the most common flowers used in funeral services. They represent the innocence and purity that the departed soul receives once they leave their earthly form. It is to be noted that the white stargazer lily specifically represents sympathy.

  • White Poppies

While White Poppies may be a little more difficult to find than red poppies, they do make the perfect funeral flowers. These flowers represent sleep, death and even consolation. They stand for the belief that it is after death that we will get the biggest consolation of ever-lasting life.

  • Carnations

Pink carnations symbolize remembrance and commemoration, while white lilies stand for innocence and love. These meaningful symbolisms make them ideal for funerals services which are meant for commemorating your loved ones. Plus, carnations work really well with all kinds of flowers and are long-lasting.

  • Chrysanthemums

In many European countries, chrysanthemums symbolize death and are, therefore, used only in funeral services or placed on graves. And in many Asian countries, the flower represents grief and lamentation. However, in the U.S, they stand for truth, and white chrysanthemums specifically stand for comfort and faith, making them perfect for funeral services.

  • Gladioli

Another common funeral flower is gladioli. They represent sincerity and strength of character and are available in various colors like pink, white, yellow, orange, red, purple, green and salmon.

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Do’s And Don’t’s When Attending A Funeral

Funerals are an important ceremony for people who have lost their loved ones. It is like a physical point of departure that allows them to say their final goodbyes. While there are no written rules that dictate how one attending a funeral should behave, there are some basic etiquette rules that everyone should keep in mind.

Here are the basic dos and donts when attending a funeral. Make sure you follow each and everyone of them the next time you go to a memorial service. It shows respect and care for the grieving.

  • Don’t show up late

Make sure that you are never ever late to a funeral. If possible, it’s always the best practice to show up around 10 to 15 minutes early. If there is something that is unavoidable and you are late by any chance, make sure to make a quiet entrance inside the venue. For example, you could enter your seat by taking the side aisle.

  • Don’t sit anywhere you want

Usually, in funerals, the first few rows of seats are meant for families, relatives and close friends. So, if you do not fall into these categories, make sure that you choose a seat that is somewhere in the middle or back.

  • Do restrain from being on your phone and social media

Make sure that your phone is in silent mode, or switched off. It is extremely inappropriate and disrespectful to be on your phone during a funeral whether to reply to a text, or take pictures/videos and upload on social media like Twitter, Instagram or Facebook.

  • Do wear modest clothes

Remember that when you attend a funeral, your purpose is to offer your condolences and pay your respects. For this, you do not have to dress extravagantly. Always wear modest and conservative clothes with minimal accessories. You dont necessarily have to wear all black, just dark colors.

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Top Questions You Should Ask Before Choosing A Funeral Home

Funeral planning is not an easy experience. You have to make necessary arrangements and do what you must despite having lost a loved one. This is why most people who plan funerals, understandably, often do not think straight and make rational decisions with a clear head.

At National Memorial Planning, we understand this ordeal that many people go through. So, to make the experience easier for you, here are the top 5 questions you should always before deciding on a funeral home.

  1. How many years have you been in business?

With experience comes expertise. So, dont forget to ask the funeral home how long they have been in business. Enquire if it is family owned because usually, family owned funeral homes are passed down from generation, meaning that they have years of experience.

  1. How many people can fit in your chapel?

Knowing how big the chapel is and how many people can fit in will help you plan the funeral in an organized and systematic manner. If possible, visit the funeral home yourself to see how well it can accommodate your plans.

  1. Am I free to choose any service despite my faith/personal beliefs?

All kinds of services like cremation, embalming, viewing and burial should be provided to you, regardless of your faith or personal beliefs. It should be noted that embalming is not legally required.

  1. What are your funeral packages like?

Remember to ask what kind of offers or packages they offer so you can get the best deal possible. Funeral homes should have packages ranging from basic to all-inclusive.

  1. What are the payment options available to me?

Funerals can be expensive. So, make sure to ask what payment options are available to you. For instance, the funeral home may be open to working with an insurance company or arrange for a financial assistance.

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Busting The Top Funeral Planning Myths

Planning a funeral is often seen as a daunting task by many. While it may not be the most exciting project, it is not as complicated and morbid as it seems. After all, when the time comes, we are all, one day, most likely going to have to plan the funeral of a loved one. Or maybe you want to plan your own funeral in advance.

On that note, here are the most common myths and misconceptions about funeral planning, busted:

  • Funerals are extremely expensive

Usually, funerals are expensive. There’s no doubt about that. Then why have we included this among our list of myths? Because funerals don’t always have to cost a fortune. They are expensive only because we follow the societal expectation of what a funeral should be extravagant floral decorations, an expensive hearse, fancy catering and more. You don’t have to follow this template. Instead, you can make it more personal and intimate on a budget.

  • Funerals are always religious

Not all funerals have to be religious. Depending on what your loved one prefers, or even if they dont share their final wishes, depending on what you believe they would appreciate, a funeral can be humanist. There is no requirement for conducting a funeral at a place of worship. A funeral should be meaningful, celebrating the life of a loved one in the most appropriate way possible.

  • Pre-planning funerals is too difficult

Often, many people believe that death is too grim a subject to focus on, especially when your time has not come yet. This is why many people dont make their final wishes known to their family. But this only leads to more confusion and disagreement during a time that is already difficult for the family. It is always better to have a healthy discussion about your final wishes with those who are likely to plan your funeral.

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Things The Bereaved Dont Want To Hear

Losing a loved one is difficult. But what makes the experience worse is when people come up to you and start saying all the wrong things. So, if you want to comfort someone who is grieving, here are the 4 things you should never say to them.

  1. Everything happens for a reason

This is a very common phrase that people often tell others during hard times. You may think that it may bring them some sort of comfort, but more often than not, it does exactly the opposite. When someone we love dies, we go through an overwhelming feeling of loss and grief, and we simply do not want to hear that losing someone you love happens for a reason.

  1. I know exactly how you feel

When someone is grieving, the most important thing is to let them know that you are there for them. It may seem like the right thing to say, but dont tell them you know and understand exactly what they are going through, because you dont. Yes, you may have lost a loved one too, but you can never know just how deeply someone is feeling a loss.

  1. What can I do for you?

Dont ask a grieving person what you can do for them, or to tell you how you can help. Instead, just do what you see needs to be done. They are already in a difficult place and asking them to reach out for your help only puts more responsibility on their shoulders.

  1. At least

Its easy to say things like At least he/she had a peaceful death, At least he/she lived a long life, or At least they are in a better place now. Even though your intention is to make them feel better and comfort them, statements like these rarely do the work. No amount of At least can take the pain away.

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Creative Activities That Can Help Kids Deal With The Loss Of A Loved One

Death of a loved one, whether a parent, a partner, a child, sibling or friend, is never an easy experience for anyone. Especially for young children, who may not yet completely comprehend the meaning of loss and grief, it may be a difficult and confusing experience. However, loss and grief are both parts of our life, and we must know how to cope effectively.

For children, it may be easier for them to understand and accept their loss through tangible ways. They need a physical way to say goodbye. So, here are some creative activities to help them cope with the loss of a loved one.

  • Create a memory box to preserve their memory

You can help the child make a special box which will hold small objects that remind them of their loved one. Objects inside the box can include pictures, necklaces, rings, perfume bottles, watch, or any other belonging. Give them the creative freedom to decorate the box however they want to.

  • Encourage them to share their experiences in the form of stories

You should encourage the child to express their feelings about the loss. Since this may be difficult since they are only kids, one way to make it easier for them is to allow them to express their experiences in a story form. To grieve in a healthy manner, they should be able to adjust to their life, and for this, they need to share their feelings.

  • Encourage them to share their experiences in the form of letters

Another way for the child to express his or her feelings is by writing a letter to someone, talking about the deceased how much they miss them, what they miss the most about them, and even the things they wish they could say to them.

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Coping With A Loved One’s Death Anniversary

If you have lost a loved one, youll understand how painful and difficult their death anniversaries can be. Its not just the date of death, it symbolizes loss and grief. Living through that day is like losing them all over again. So, how do you cope with the death anniversary of a loved one? Below, we provide useful tips to help you out:

  • Talk about your feelings

Talking about your feelings with someone who is close to you can help you cope with the pain. Talk about how much you miss them, or your favorite memories with them. Basically, dont bottle your feelings. Find an understanding and compassionate person a friend or family member who will support you through the day.

  • Put photos on display or go through them

While some hide pictures of their loved ones on a death anniversary because they think its all too much, some find it helpful and even calming to put up pictures where they can be easily seen or go through albums of the deceased. If you want to get creative and honor their memory on their death anniversary, you can even create collages, scrapbooks, videos and slideshows of your loved ones. These help to preserve their memory in a unique way.

  • Do what they used to love

One way to honor the memory of a loved one on their death anniversary is to spend time doing something they used to love when they were alive. Maybe they used to volunteer at an animal shelter on weekends, or maybe they used to go cycling every day. Whatever the activity is, it meant a lot to them. So, its meaningful that you remember them by indulging yourself in the very same activity. Or you could donate to causes which were close to their hearts.

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How To Choose The Perfect Funeral Song

We all know that picking out music for any occasion is no simple task. The songs or pieces we choose will set the mood and tone of the entire occasion, whatever it may be. But, its even more difficult to choose a song for a funeral, whether we are planning our own funeral in advance or its for the funeral of a loved one.

As difficult as it may be, the music played at someones funeral is an important and memorable part of the entire service, and often what people will remember most. So, if you want a meaningful song that people will remember you with, or you want someone you have lost to be remembered with a particular song, here are some tips on how to choose the perfect funeral song.

  1. Choose something personal and meaningful

The most important factor to consider is that the song or music you choose should be meaningful. And for that, it has to be personal. It doesnt matter if it does not sound like your usual funeral music. What matters is that it has meaning, and the deceased will be remembered with that music.

  1. Think of how you want people to feel at the funeral

It is well-known that music has the power to make us feel a certain way. The kind of music we listen to can effectively influence our mood. So, before choosing a song, consider how the song will make people feel at the funeral. Will it make them feel the way you want them to?

  1. Carefully go through the lyrics first

Before you settle with a song, make sure to go through the lyrics first and understand the meaning. Lyrics are as important as the tune. For example, the words of a song may not be ideal for the kind of funeral you want, or the ideas presented in the song may not match yours or the deceased.

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Planning For A Burial

Burying the loved ones along with their favorite objects has been an age old practice. Burial practices are in fact as old as human evolution and date as far back as 100,000 years or more. It is a ritual that indicates respect for the departed and in certain cultures, it is a required step so that the departed soul can enter back into the cycle of birth or afterlife.

To protect the physical remains, embalming, use of caskets, burial vaults, grave liners and more have been traditionally used. Choosing to bury your departed loved family member can involve making decisions on many aspects including:

  • Whether the physical remains of the loved one would be buried on a private property that you have earmarked or in the regulated cemetery. Certain legislation in some states may not allow burial on private property.
  • Whether the burial will be at sea
  • Burial in a crypt inside the mausoleum

While the wishes of the loved one will be the main consideration, choosing a burial could also be:

  • A religious or cultural practice
  • Family tradition
  • Loved ones dislike of cremation using flames
  • Desire for a natural burial surrounded by trees or open spaces

Other decisions that will need to be made include:

  • Embalming
  • Type of casket and vaults
  • Selection of the monument, grave marker or headstone
  • Words that will be put on the headstone or monument
  • Graveside service

Depending on the family and the departed loved ones preferences, there are a range of caskets, monuments and memorials available. While the caskets have to be chosen from steel, wood, semi-precious metal caskets to veterans caskets, there are plenty of color and size options for monuments and memorials made of granite.

Graveside services also depend on the familys emotional and traditional requirements. A professional burial planning services provider can help out with simple to elaborate arrangements and products for the burial.

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