One question that many people have had is whether attending the funeral of their ex-spouse or ex-partner is the right call. This depends on a number of factors. Although making this decision can be quite tricky, there are certain considerations you should make before you decide to attend or not attend.
For starters, if you and your ex-spouse or partner parted ways on good terms and you still kept in touch with them and/or their family after the split, there isn’t any reason why it should be inappropriate for you to go. They were once among the most important people in your life who helped you shape who you are now, and you deserve the chance to say goodbye. On the other hand, if you had a contentious split or divorce, you should probably expect a different experience.
It is important to remember that your presence should be welcomed by the family members of the deceased. If you did not split on the best terms, there is a possibility that seeing you will only bring more pain and grief to the family members of the deceased. Moreover, even if you do attend the funeral, remember that you can’t sit with the family members because you are no longer family.
Another possible scenario is where you and your ex-spouse have children together. In such cases, it is critical that you are extremely mature about your emotions and put the needs of your kids first. Since you have a family with your ex-spouse, the dynamic has changed and there is more to consider. For instance, if you do decide to attend the funeral, it may not be the best idea to sit in the family section with your kids, because, technically, you are no longer family.
There is no direct answer as to whether you should or shouldn’t attend the funeral of your ex-spouse. It is all very contextual. What matters most is considering how the family will feel.
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Often people use the words “casket” and “coffin” interchangeably. The general population thinks that these two words mean the same thing. However, they are not. Those in the funeral industry know that even though these two are both burial boxes, they are not one and the same.
The number one difference between the two is their appearance. Caskets and coffins have different shapes. While a casket is rectangular in shape and usually has hinged bars on either side for carrying it, a coffin has six sides. A coffin is shaped in such a way that the top part is wider than the bottom.
Usually in the U.S, most families use caskets for funerals. Burial boxes specifically designed to contain a person’s deceased body, caskets are used for viewing the body during a funeral. After the funeral service, the casket is lowered into the ground for burial.
However, if the family of the deceased chooses cremation over burial, caskets are only used solely for the purpose of viewing the body or visitation during the funeral service.
Coffins are also used for viewing, visitations and burial. But, as mentioned before, their shapes are distinctively different from caskets. Coffins were most commonly used during the 19th and 20th centuries in funeral services.
Another important difference between the two is that they have different pricing. In most cases, coffins tend to be cheaper than caskets. This is because they require less wood (or any other material) when they are made. Coffins are shaped wider at the top and narrower at the bottom so they can match the human body shape without having to waste any material. Understandably, they are often more cost-effective than caskets, which use up more material.
Both caskets and coffins are appropriate for funeral services and there are no restrictions on the use of either one.
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Matters of death and the afterlife have always been considered topics to be avoided. However, these are part of life and should be spoken about openly. What makes these topics even more interesting is that different religions across the world have different beliefs about them. Let us take a look at some of these beliefs:
While beliefs about the afterlife can vary slightly depending on which denomination of Christianity you belong to, most believe that your life on Earth and whether you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord determine whether you end up in heaven or hell. However, in Catholicism, people believe in the presence of a Purgatory, where people who are destined to go to heaven are purified from their sins.
Buddhists believe that after someone dies, they get reincarnated, completing the cycle of life, death and rebirth. In other words, Buddhists believe that after death, they take on another body in the next life. The ultimate goal is to achieve Nirvana or enlightenment so that they can escape reincarnation.
Hinduism preaches that the soul gets reincarnated into a new life form, depending on your actions in your previous life. Hindus believe that you can even get reincarnated in your next life as animals, plants and insects, and not necessarily humans. Similar to Buddhism, the ultimate goal is to escape the cycle of reincarnation and achieve Moksha.
In Islam, people believe that the after death, the journey of our physical bodies on Earth stop. However, the soul continues to live on, as it goes to the Angel of Death, where it waits for Judgement Day. They believe that when the world ends, Allah will resurrect everyone to judge them for their life on Earth and determine if they should go to heaven or hell.
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Putting flowers on the grave of a loved one is a common practice that many people follow. Especially during the holidays you may wish to honor your lost loved one, the person they were and the relationship you shared with them. Placing flowers on their grave is the perfect way to do this.
Flowers carry a lot of meaning and symbolism. They come in all shapes, colors and sizes, and each flower represents something different. While there is no set rule you have to follow when choosing which colors to place on the grave of a loved one it definitely helps to know what the different flowers symbolize.
Below, I discuss different types of flowers, what they represent and what makes them a great choice for remembering your loved one and decorating their final resting place:
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All over the world, different cultures have different ways of remembering their loved ones who have passed. While letting go and living your life after losing a loved one is crucial, it is also equally important to remember them and honor their every once in a while. Here are some festivals around the world that honor the dead:
Halloween - Perhaps the most popular holiday for the dead that is celebrated in different parts of the world, Halloween is actually part of a three day-holiday called Allhallowtide. It is a time meant for remembering the people who have left us, including the saints and martyrs. It is considered to be a Christian holiday even though it is highly commercialized today.
Dia de los Muertos - Celebrated in Mexico, Dia de los Muertos means day of the dead in English. Initially, the festival was celebrated at the start of summer, but after the Spanish colonized Mexico, it was shifted on the same day as Halloween. The Mexicans celebrate this day in a joyful manner, cleaning and decorating their loved ones' graves and gathering with family and friends.
Chuseok - Chuseok, which is celebrated in Korea, is a festival when Koreans honor their ancestors. It is also a three-day long harvest festival. Those who celebrate the festival travel to the hometown of their ancestors and pay homage by cleaning their tombs, offering them food and praying.
Zhongyuan Festival - The Chinese have a whole month dedicated to remember and honor the memory of their loved ones and ancestors who have passed. This month is known as Ghost Month and the festival is called Zhongyuan in China. People perform rituals to help spirits transition and they hold elaborate feasts to celebrate.
Obon - Celebrated in Japan, Obon is a Buddhist holiday when people visit and clean the graves of their loved ones who have passed. Then, to help guide their spirits, lanterns are released and a traditional dance is performed.
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