Losing a loved one is difficult as it is, especially if you’ve lost them this year. Now that a whole new year is stretching ahead of us, you may wonder how to find the strength to carry on.
Perhaps, your new year’s resolution is to allow yourself to move on and welcome the new year on a positive note. It is completely okay and normal if you are somehow relieved that you are finally leaving behind a year that has been marked with such a great loss. Many people often feel guilty for wanting to move on, for feeling this “relief”, but it is important for you to know that it is okay. You are allowed to move on with your life after losing a loved one.
Perhaps you do not feel relieved. Maybe you are anxious about the coming new year, worried about how you are going to move on to a whole new year without your loved one. This is a common feeling among people who are grieving. If you also feel this way, you should know that creating new memories without the person you have lost does not mean you are betraying the memory you have created with them.
Remember to be patient and gentle with yourself, and don’t push yourself to do anything in which you are uncomfortable. If your loss has been debilitating for you, if your entire life has come to a halt because of this loss, then maybe, the new year is the perfect opportunity for you to get back on track. Here are some tips that you may find useful:
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Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult experiences anyone can have. It takes time to accept that they are gone from this world, it takes time and courage to learn to adapt to life in their absence.
You cannot expect everyone around you to understand what you are going through when you are mourning, but it is possible to surround yourself with people who can relate to your experience. This is exactly what a grief support group does. As the name suggests, it provides support to the bereaved, hears what they have to say, and offer a safe space to pour open their hearts. Here are the different ways a grief support group can help anyone who has lost a loved one:
Support from people who have similar experiences
The greatest benefit is that grief support groups provide a safe and non-judgmental space for the bereaved, because every single person there has lost someone close to them and understands what you may be going through. Even though no two losses are the same, it definitely helps to surround yourself with people who have had similar experiences.
A sense of belonging to a group that understands
It can be easy to feel isolated from everyone you know, whether friends or family, when you have lost a loved one, especially when the deceased is someone you share a special connection or relationship with. Not everyone may understand the depth of your grief, making you feel alone. But with a support group, you have a sense of belonging to a group that understands.
A place to open your mind to new perspectives
When you attend grief support groups, you meet people from different walks of life, each with a unique story of love and loss. Maybe these people have learned healthy and effective coping skills and relaxation techniques, which you can also benefit from. Or maybe hearing their story alone can give you a different perspective on life.
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Going back to work after having lost a loved one may seem like the most daunting task. You are probably still grieving, and it is likely that you find it difficult to focus on anything at all. Besides, not everyone at work will understand what you are going through, and this can only make the transition more difficult.
It's true that returning to work after losing a loved one is no easy task, but these are some ways that can help you out:
Think of returning to work as something positive
Going back to work may be the last thing you want to do while grieving, but you can look at it in a much more positive way. When you return to work, you are surrounded by other people, you get back into a routine, and your mind has other things to focus on. This keeps you distracted from focusing only on your loss.
Dont take on more than you can handle
While focusing on your work can be a good distraction, you must make sure not to take on too much work. You may think that overloading your responsibilities will keep you distracted even more, but it can only make things harder for you. It will be easier to get stressed and burn out.
Stay in touch with your manager or HR
For a few weeks after your return to work, make sure you communicate with HR or your manager. Let them know how you are coping, and don't be ashamed to ask for help if you need anything. Even if they do not regularly check up with you, don't hesitate to reach out first.
These are some of the best ways you can make sure returning to work after losing a loved one is not too much for you to handle. If these don't help, then you should consider giving yourself more time to grieve.
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When you lose someone who is close to you, the thought of living life after their death can be a terrifying one, especially if you lived under the same roof with them. However, the truth is that life goes on and we should be able to cope with our grief in a healthy manner so that we can get on with our lives without them. It’s okay and normal to grieve in your own way, as long as it is not detrimental for your well-being and those around you. Here are some tips on how to grieve in a healthy manner.
First and foremost, you should understand that grieving is normal and completely okay. You shouldn't feel guilty for how you feel. Instead, allow yourself to feel your emotions and embrace them completely. It's the only way you will get through it.
Whether it is a small corner in the house where their picture hangs or a bench in the park dedicated to them, you can create some sort of a memorial for your loved one. This safe space can help you feel closer to them.
When you are grieving, it is easy to pull yourself away from everyone and suffer on your own. However, this is not healthy and could only lead to other issues. Instead, make sure you reach out to your close friends and family for support, discuss how you feel and allow others to lend a shoulder.
A healthy way to cope with the loss of a loved one is to channel your grief into creative expression. Whether it’s writing, painting, sketching, music or any other art form, finding a creative outlet can really help.
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Losing someone you love is heart-breaking, even more so if you shared a house with them. It can be extremely difficult to relocate houses while you are grieving. You are leaving a home that is filled with so many happy memories of your loved one – memories you want to cherish forever. It is completely natural to experience feelings of sadness, guilt and even anger during such times.
However, you should acknowledge that no matter how difficult it may be, it must be done, and here are a few things you should know that may make the experience easier for you.
Everyone grieves and gets back to the world on their own terms and at their own pace. Don’t push yourself too hard even if it takes you longer than most. Nor should you feel guilty if it takes you a shorter period of time. Take your own time.
If you are relocating and you wish to use this opportunity to finally move on, that’s alright. It’s a great idea and you should be happy with yourself for having the courage. And if you feel that you are not ready yet and you want to bring in things that remind you of your loved one, then that’s okay. Bereavement is a personal experience and you shouldn’t care about what others think.
If you have decided to move as a way to help you cope with your loss and grief and not because you have to, then always make sure no one – friends or family – is influencing your decision. It is a huge change and you should be the one to decide.
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