A basic custom of funeral etiquette is sending acknowledgment cards following funerals. Sending thank-you cards with personal messages to the ones who supported you and offered their condolences is a beautiful gesture. You will be surprised to know how much this basic gesture of offering your gratitude will mean. You can either compile a list of only those who sent you flowers, cards, memorials, or donations, or send them to all your guests.
Add a personal touch
Adding personal touches to the thank-you card will send a sign of thoughtfulness. It can be anything from a personal handwritten message to a thoughtful verse from your favorite poem. If you are not too much into words, you can choose to put in an image along with a sweet and short caption symbolizing your gratitude.
The passing away of a loved one can be difficult. You might not find it particularly engaging to write messages on blank cards. You will find a range of solutions that can help you create customized cards very easily on the internet from which you can choose with a range of templates. In a few simple steps, you can get your customized cards ready.
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Karen
Outer burial containers consist of grave liners and burial vaults. These serve to enclose the casket or coffin in a grave. When caskets are buried under the ground, some cemeteries require a burial vault or a grave liner surrounding the casket. An outer burial container suffices to support the soil that is around the casket. This firm support is required to prevent the soil on top of the casket and around it from collapsing. Significantly, this ultimately serves to enhance maintenance in cemeteries, keeping cemetery grounds in great condition.
Important features
Burial vaults are caskets for the main caskets. They encase the main casket completely, from all sides. A grave liner merely acts as a cover for the top and sides of the casket. The bottom of the main casket is in direct contact with the ground. Both burial vaults and grave liners are typically made of concrete and lined with a layer of plastic or metal. Some are available, nowadays, in steel, copper, and bronze. These metal ones are sturdier but may cost more as they assure durability more than concrete does. Concrete may be prone to cracks over a period of time.
Some considerations
Your choice, a grave liner or a burial vault, totally depends on you as an individual or your family that decides on such matters. If cost is a consideration in selecting an outer burial container, then a grave liner will be ideal. Usually, these can be purchased as separate from the main casket (which depends on your selection again) from the funeral home that you are associated with. You may have a limited choice as some funeral homes carry only one or two models.
You may buy these as part of your main casket expense if your main casket manufacturer sells these. Retailers also sell grave liners and burial vaults. If you buy these online, they may incur high shipping costs, as they are heavy and have to be handled with care.
Thanks for reading,
Karen
It’s hard to put into words what losing a loved one means. It’s one of life's most difficult experiences. Whether given as condolence offerings or used for funeral decoration, flowers hold a special place during times of grieving.
Funeral flower arrangements convey messages from the heart, offer comfort, and show support from family and loved ones. They also portray respect for the deceased. Here's a brief guide to help if you are arranging a funeral setting or simply want to offer your sympathy.
Funeral flower arrangements
Funeral flowers can be arranged to give or for display, in baskets, as sprays or bouquets, as well as wreaths. Baskets come in several sizes and styles. Colors are often sober and are usually pastel shades of white, blue, lilac, or yellow. Standing sprays may be displayed on an easel, typically near the casket. Wreaths consist of large bunches of flowers and are more elaborate but look beautiful in a large area. The circular shape of a poignant floral wreath symbolizes eternal life.
Flowers to consider
A wide variety of flowers can be used at funerals, but the only consideration is color. Usually, bright and vibrant colors aren't chosen unless the family has specifically selected these because of a preference. The following flowers make nice flowers for funerals:
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Karen
When people lose their loved ones, many of them choose to add their names to an existing headstone or monument. Maybe it’s the monument of their spouse, their parents, or any other family member or a close friend.
What you should do
Adding a name to an existing monument is not an easy task, and it is critical that you hire a trained and experienced professional engraver. You may also want to consult the cemetery staff or a funeral director before adding the name. There may be certain guidelines that need to be followed, or the funeral director may be able to point you to the right engraver. Talking to experienced professionals always helps.
Another important part of adding the name to the monument is choosing the inscription. Which words do you want inscribed on the monument? Of course, this must be something meaningful, something that will honor the memory of your loved one and reflect the kind of person they were. Often times, people also add a favorite quote of the deceased. Don’t hesitate to take your time, think carefully, and consult other people.
What you shouldn’t do
You may want to cut corners and hire an amateur engraver because it’s cheaper, but the difference in the quality of work will be very obvious. Adding the name of your loved one to a monument is a way of honoring their memory, and this is something that has no room for mistakes.
Including jokes in monument inscriptions is hardly ever a good idea. It’s always best to take it seriously and move forward in a way that would respectfully and beautifully honor the memory of your loved one.
Finally, don’t proceed with your task unless you have all the proper permissions required from local government or cemetery authorities. A professional engraver can work with these. The last thing you’d want is to have to go through extra trouble while you are in mourning.
Thanks for reading,
Karen
Cemeteries are places where the bodies of those who are no longer with us rest. They are a place where people come to pay their respects to their loved ones, to grieve and mourn them and honor their memory. As such, cemeteries are places that require a code of conduct.
When visiting the grave of a loved one in a cemetery, keep these do’s and don’ts in mind:
Most cemeteries have visiting hours, usually from around 8 or 9 in the morning till 5 or 7 pm in the evening. Some older cemeteries, especially those adjacent to churches, and are not walled in, may be open to the public at all times. Make sure that you ask about the cemetery’s visiting hours before heading out.
Walking over graves, whether it is the grave of your loved one or a stranger you do not know, is extremely disrespectful. A grave is the site where the body of someone who has passed is put to rest and it holds deep meaning for that person’s family and friends.
Even if the grave or monument is dirty, don’t clean it in a way that could cause damage. And if there is already some damage, don’t try to fix it yourself if you are not sure how to do so. For example, using chemical cleaning agents may damage the headstone. It’s best to call professionals. Contacting the company who processed and installed the monument is your best bet.
If there are other people in the cemetery who have come there to reflect and/or visit the grave of their loved one, make sure you are respectful of their peace and privacy. Be considerate and allow them to reflect or grieve in peace.
Thanks for reading,
Karen
Decorating a gravesite is a great way to honor the memory of one who has passed. It allows you to pay tribute to your loved one in a creative, personalized manner. Besides, knowing that the gravesite of your loved one is beautifully decorated in a way that they would have appreciated gives you comfort and some peace of mind.
If you want to decorate a gravesite, here are a few ideas that can inspire you.
Flowers are among the most commonly used gravesite decorations everywhere. You can use either fresh flowers or artificial flowers, depending on availability and also your convenience. While fresh flowers are great, they can get wilted very quickly, and most cemeteries remove them once wilted. With artificial flowers, you don’t have to worry about that, but you will have to compromise on authenticity and replace as needed.
A great decoration idea for gravesites is to decorate as per the season or an upcoming special holiday. For example, if it’s summer, you can decorate it with fresh summer flowers such as daisies and sunflowers. If it’s fall and Halloween is coming up, then carved pumpkins and other Halloween-themed decorations should be a good idea. And if it’s Christmas, then using hollies and wreaths and other Christmas decorations are great.
Personalized decorations of gravesites help you pay tribute to your loved ones who have passed. A great way to set up this kind of decoration is by using wind chimes, notes from you, friends, and family, photos of cherished memories, stuffed toys, etc. These bring the personality of your loved ones to their gravesites and also allows you to ensure that you honor their memory in a meaningful way.
A common tradition developing is placing one or more solar lights on the gravesite or bordering it. There are various reasons for this decoration, according to religious or cultural traditions.
Thanks for reading,
Karen
Maintaining a clean and beautiful grave is a way of showing your respect and honoring the memory of your loved ones who have passed away. Besides, visiting their place of resting often to clean, it offers you more opportunity to remember them in a private and personal manner and can perhaps, help you with your grief.
In case you need some help with grave maintenance, here are some tips that you should keep in mind.
The headstone is the most noticeable part of the grave and it is important that it is always in great condition. While you can’t always expect it to be in tiptop shape forever, proper maintenance can increase its lifespan. Since chemical agents can damage the headstone, the best way to clean it is by using water and a brush with soft bristles. You can also simply wipe it with a dry or damp cloth.
If you notice any cracks, chips, or broken parts, call professionals as soon as possible.
Most cemeteries take care of mowing and general landscape work, but if you want your loved one's grave to look spotless, a little effort on your part can make a huge difference. If there are weeds and leaves growing around the burial plot or debris lying around, remove them without wasting time.
A great way to immediately brighten up a grave is to decorate it with beautiful, fresh flowers. If your loved one had favorite flowers, you can place these in a vase or simply lay them down on the grave. Another great idea is to decorate the burial plot with a wreath, which you can place on or against the headstone. Of course, artificial flowers and plants last longer, but need to be replaced when worn or faded.
Thanks for reading,
Karen
Dementia is extremely common among older people and it exists in varying degrees. Since people with dementia have compromised cognitive abilities, the way you say your final goodbyes to those who are dying may need to be different than usual.
What is dementia?
Contrary to popular belief, dementia is not a single disease. Rather, it is simply a term that is used to refer to a wider range of diseases that affect memory, focus, and other cognitive abilities in old age. One of these diseases, and probably the most popular, is Alzheimer’s Disease.
There is no cure for dementia, and treatments are focused on slowing down the symptoms. When people with dementia die, it is not usually the disease itself that is the cause of the death, but rather the side effects. For instance, people with dementia have weakened immunity and they have difficulty fighting off infections and other diseases, which often leads to the deterioration of their health.
Dementia deathbed etiquette
Families and caretakers often see that the person with dementia gradually slips away, rather than suddenly. Communication, responses, behavior, and health slowly decline over time.
However, this also means that it can be difficult to tell the difference between when they are nearing the end of life, or if their symptoms are simply worsening. As such, it is important to pay attention and be prepared as much as you can.
If someone you love has dementia and they are on their deathbed, they may not be fully aware of what is happening and they may have difficulty identifying you and other family members or friends. It is important that you make them feel at ease and know that it is not impossible for them to die with dignity, even though they may be impaired.
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Karen
Death is never a pleasant thing to handle, especially when it is the death of your loved one. But death is inevitable; death cannot be planned. It becomes your responsibility to make all the arrangements to say last goodbyes to a person you loved by doing all that is needed at that time. Choosing a funeral product that would compliment the parted soul and your feelings is essential. Some of the funeral products that you could consider are:
Caskets
The casket is the first thing that comes to mind when we start preparing for the final journey of a recently deceased person. Most caskets are made from wood, but you can also order metal or fiberglass caskets. You can customize them according to your needs and choose color, size, shape, etc. You can also choose the type of interior clothing.
Urns
Urns are needed when you choose cremation to collect ashes. You can either choose from a wide variety of urns present in the funeral shop or order a customized urn. Urns come in different sizes, shapes, and colors. It can be made from wood, metal, or ceramic. You can also choose to embellish them with markings, quotes, pictures, etc.
Burial Vaults
Burial Vaults are containers designed to hold a casket. It prevents the grave from sinking and encloses the casket. Many cemeteries require burial vaults to place the casket in the ground so that the soil remains intact. They are basically made from concrete and lined with metal or plastic.
Grave Markers
Grave markers are essential for any grave to recognize the departed soul. Grave markers come as memorials and monuments. Memorials lie flat on the ground, and monuments are erect on the ground. You should inquire about the rules and regulations of the cemetery before buying a grave marker. Some monument companies will do this for you.
Memorial Items
Memorial items can be made according to your choice since you were the closest to the deceased person. Memorial items range from jewelry, paintings, or any other artworks. Your imagination only limits you in choosing memorial items.
Thanks for reading,
Karen
When someone dies, obtaining a death certificate as soon as possible is a must. But what's a death certificate?
Put simply, a death certificate is an official government document that acknowledges and confirms the death of a person. It includes the cause, location, date and time, as well as other relevant personal information about the deceased, such as full name, date of birth, social security number, address, marital status, and more.
Death certificates must be signed by a medical practitioner – which may be a doctor, medical examiner, nurse, coroner, etc. – as well as a licensed burial agent or funeral director.
Death certificates can be issued to immediate family members such as spouses, parents, children, siblings, legal guardians, and grandchildren. They can also be received by executors or state and federal agencies that require it for official purposes.
Why do you need a death certificate?
A death certificate is required to handle the affairs of the deceased. For instance, most agencies and institutions will ask for a copy of a death certificate if you want to shut down an account, file taxes, or collect benefits.
Usually, only copies of the death certificate are required, but several legal matters may require the original official certificate. For social security, banking, phone companies, and utilities, a copy is usually required. However, for insurance, pensions, property transfers, property claims, military benefits, 401Ks and stocks, future marriages, and businesses, the official death certificate is usually mandatory.
Where can you get death certificates from?
There are different means to secure a death certificate. Ordinarily, the original death certificates are sent to the funeral home handling the services who distributes them to the family. Thereafter, you can get it from the vital records office of your state or the county clerk’s office.
Thanks for reading,
Karen
Today many of us are so attached to our mobile phones that we carry them around every moment of every day. These devices have more or less become an extension of us. However, as attached as we may be, there are some places and instances where it is disrespectful and impolite to use our phones. One such example is a funeral.
A funeral is a personal and sacred event where loved ones pay their respects and say their goodbyes to someone who has passed. As such, certain etiquettes need to be followed, even when it comes to mobile use. We discuss these etiquettes below.
Don’t use unless absolutely necessary
Generally, cell phone use should be limited at funerals. If you are always texting, scrolling through social media or taking phone calls, it is considered extremely disrespectful to the family of the deceased and the memory of the departed as well. Put simply, don’t use your phone unless it is crucial. If you do have to take or make urgent calls or send texts, make sure to excuse yourself and step outside politely.
Keep your phone on silent mode
Always keep your phone on silent mode when you are at a funeral. Sounds coming from your phone such as ringing sounds, notification sounds, etc. can be very disruptive and distracting at solemn events such as funerals. Remember to keep it on silent, and not vibrate, as the vibrating sound can still be audible.
Avoid taking pictures/selfies
Taking pictures or selfies, whether it is of you, you and your friends, of others, the casket, etc., should be avoided at funerals. This can be considered an invasion of privacy, unless you have permission from the family to click snapshots with your phone. Also, if you have permission to take photographs, be quick and don’t distract the other guests. And don’t forget to silence the sounds.
Thanks for reading,
Karen
A funeral is an important ceremony that allows people to say their final good-byes to a loved one who has passed away. As such, there are many significant decisions that need to be made while planning the funeral.
Some of the most significant decisions regarding funerals include whether the body should be buried or cremated, where to bury, where to scatter ashes, whether a certain religious tradition should be followed, etc.
These decisions make up your funeral, and if you haven’t already left instructions or decided on who should make choices on your behalf, it’s time you consider it. If you have made your wishes known, then it is a statutory obligation for your survivors to honor those wishes.
There are various ways a person can make their funeral preferences known, including who will make the decisions. Some of these include a Living Will, a Last Will and Testament, as well as other legal documents such as Disposition Authorization Affidavit, Authorization for Final Disposition, or Appointment of Agent to Control Disposition of Remains.
Keep in mind--If there are no instructions left by the deceased
If you do not leave behind any instructions or preferences regarding your own funeral, then the responsibility to make these decisions fall upon your nearest relative. This could be your husband, wife, children, parents, sister, brother, etc.
To qualify as a relative who can make decisions regarding a funeral, a person must be over 18 years old. First, the spouse or domestic partner is considered, after which the children are prioritized. If neither of these is present or available, then parents, siblings, authorized guardian, grandchildren, aunts and uncles, and even cousins can qualify as next of kin and make decisions regarding a funeral.
In some situations, a very close friend of the deceased can even be considered as next of kin if blood relatives are not available.
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Karen
When a loved one dies in a foreign country, it can be easy to worry and feel helpless. What do you do to get the remains back? Who do you have to contact for help?
Depending on the country of death, local protocols can be very different. However, there are three main steps that you have to follow if a loved one dies in a different country.
The first thing you can do is contact your embassy or consulate in the country where the death occurred. They will help you get in touch with the foreign offices so you can get the remains back safely and as quickly as possible. They will also provide you with instructions on how to send the funds required to cover the costs.
Apart from making arrangements for the return of the remains, they will also issue a Consular Report of Death Abroad, a legal document with important details of the passing.
In addition to the Consular Report of Death Abroad, there are many documents that you need to get the remains back home. These may include a Foreign Funeral Affidavit, a Consular Mortuary Certificate, a Transit Permit, etc.
Depending on the country of death, the rules may be different regarding who can claim the body and sign the required paperwork. So, make sure to work out these details with your consulate or embassy so you can decide if you need to go abroad.
While the foreign side of the process will be taken care of the consulate or embassy, a trusted funeral home in the US can help you with arrangements back home. Always make sure that the funeral home you choose is willing to accommodate the time differences.
Thanks for reading,
Karen
When someone dies, their loved ones handle their important financial and legal works. But one thing that many people tend to forget, although everyone has them, are social media accounts. In today’s 21st century digitized world we live, what do you do with someone’s social media accounts after they die?
Google has what is known as Inactive Account Manager, which enables the account holder to set a time period, after which the account will be automatically deleted or designated to someone else if it is inactive for that selected time period. This can be three, six, nine, or twelve months. But if the account holder has not used this option, you can directly contact Google to manage the account of the deceased. Although the company won’t give out passwords, it does entertain requests to close accounts.
The Facebook account of someone who has died can either be memorialized or deleted. Memorialization is a common option, as it keeps all the posts from the account visible, and friends can post on the timeline depending on the settings. The word “Remembering” is placed next to the name. Memorialization requests can be made in the Help Center page of Facebook.
Another option is to delete the account, which would require you to provide documents to prove that you are either an immediate family or estate executor of the deceased. You can then send a request to Facebook to delete the account.
The Twitter account of someone who has died can be permanently deleted. However, you need to prove you are an immediate family or the executor of the estate of the deceased. You will have to submit documents like a death certificate and your own ID.
Like Facebook, an Instagram account can either be deleted or memorialized. However, deletion can be requested only by immediate family members, for which you will have to provide proof
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Karen
Donation in any form is a generous act. There are many people who are in dire need of food and clothing who can benefit from it. When you lose a loved one, it is difficult to part from their belongings. Most of us cling to them in our mourning their death. What if they can be honored by helping those in need? Why not give away a lost one’s clothes and some belongings to charity?
Before you donate to charity, keep the following points in mind:
Remember, when you donate your loved one’s clothes to charity, you honor them by helping someone in need.
Thanks for reading,
Karen
Everyone You Need to Notify After Someone Dies
After someone dies, it is important that the right people are notified of the death. Apart from friends and family, there are several agencies and institutions that must be contacted and informed of this occurrence.
If the death was unexpected, make sure you call 911 immediately. If not, then call your medical practitioner. This should be done immediately after the death.
In the following few days, you will have to contact more people, informing them of the situation. These include:
It is necessary to get in touch with all financial institutions that your loved one had an account and notify them of the death. So make sure you call any bank that your loved one had a savings account in, or through which he/she held credit cards, mortgages, insurance policies, etc. so that the accounts can be frozen. However, before you do so, make sure you have a death certificate as well as letters of administration.
Next up, utilities and service providers that provide electricity, gas, water, internet, phone, TV, or other monthly or yearly subscriptions need to be contacted as well so that their services can be cancelled.
The Social Security Administration must also be notified of the death if your loved one was a recipient of social security benefits. Moreover, you may able to receive survivor benefits from the government if you qualify. For example, if the deceased was a veteran, informing the Department of Veterans Affairs may be able to get you survivor benefits.
You will also need to redirect your loved one’s mail to your house if you did not live together.
While losing a loved one is never easy, contacting these people in a timely manner will help you avoid problems in the future.
Thanks for reading,
Karen
Loss is a natural part of life. That being said, losing a loved one is the most devastating experience in life. A parent, a sibling, a child, a friend, or a lover-once lost-is lost forever. Coping with this loss can prove to be challenging. You should know that it is hard to overcome this loss, but not impossible. Everyone reacts differently to death. But most people find different ways to honor the ones they have lost and keep their memory living forever. The coping mechanism differs from one person to another. People do different things to honor the ones they have lost. The most significant are those which make a difference.
Donate for a cause: Donation is something that has its way of helping someone in need. It brings a feeling of pleasure, a feeling of fulfillment that someone, somewhere is saved. It is the best way to honor a lost one as it gives life to another.
Go Green initiative: There is always a need to protect our environment. Honoring the lost one by planting a flowering plant, a tree or a patch of grass, makes all the difference.
Reach out to others: There are several others who have lost their loved ones. Reaching out to them and helping them cope with the loss is a way to honor the lost.
Be anonymous: Honoring someone can even be made possible by anonymously helping someone or something in need. Pay for someone’s education, send food to an orphanage or nursing home, feed the poor, pay for someone’s treatment, pay for an animal’s life, rescue an animal from a shelter. The list goes on and on.
Coping with the loss of a loved one is difficult. But honoring them makes a lot of difference.
Thanks for reading,
Karen
Epitaphs are among the oldest forms of writing in the world. They are a way to commemorate the dead and celebrate the lives they’ve lived. They can be poetry or verse and are usually inscribed onto a gravestone or memorial plaque at a burial to honor the memory of the deceased. A memorable epitaph is short and heartfelt. The feeling that it conveys is generally a reflection of the deceased person’s personality. It can be tragic if the person’s death was sacrificial or humorous if the person liked to laugh things off when alive. It may also be ironic. A good epitaph is not overly sentimental. It is a summation of the life that the individual lived.
If you're writing your own epitaph, you already have the voice figured out. Now, all you have to do is determine who the epitaph will be addressed to. It could be a general address to the common public, a passerby or a beloved. As discussed above, you could inject a little bit of your personality into it. So if you're religious, you could include scripture from a sacred text.
The reason epitaphs are generally asked to be kept short is because the gravestone affords very little space for lengthy text unless you want to spend lavishly on your tombstone, in which case you can write yourself a long one. However, it is best to keep it short. You could list a couple of your achievements on your epitaph if you'd like to be remembered for them. You could leave a few comforting words for those surviving you to offer solace. If you're confused about how to write an epitaph, you could do some research. Once you’ve written one down, you could show it to your friends and family and ask for their opinion.
You could leave your family or friends to write your epitaph for you when you're gone. However, if you choose to write your epitaph for you – there's nothing wrong with that either.
Thanks for reading,
Karen
Those who have lost a loved one often ask how long they have to wait before they can erect a memorial or a headstone on a grave. There is no direct answer to this. Mostly, it depends on the cemetery. While some cemeteries may need you to wait for a set period of time before you can erect memorials, some do not have such rules. Instead, they may encourage you to make plans to order your headstone any time you want.
Many cemeteries suggest that families wait at least six weeks before placing a flat grass marker. But the waiting period is longer if you wish to erect an upright monument. Often, you have to wait for about three to six months to make sure that by the time you do place the memorials, any dirt around the grave would have settled. This is because a new grave takes time to settle and can move around, especially when there is a lot of rainfall. While the ground below is settling, the earth and dirt above are also subject to moving.
In some cemeteries, this issue is addressed by using a special tampering machine that can level the grave. This helps the fresh dirt above to be concentrated right above the grave instead of moving about. As such, families don’t have to wait for a long time to place memorials for their lost loved ones.
Since the ground often needs time to settle, it is advised that you wait about six months before you erect any kind of memorial. Otherwise, if you decide to go ahead with this too soon rather than waiting for the recommended time period, you are highly likely to find yourself ordering replacement memorials soon.
Thanks for reading,
Karen
Headstone inscriptions are a special way to remember your loved ones who have passed away. Many people want to inscribe something that truly reflects the kind of person the deceased was, while some may choose favorite quotes or sayings.
Some people even let their family know the inscription of their choice before their time comes, but if this isn’t the case, it will be up to you, as a loved one, to choose the headstone inscriptions. Here are some tips to help you out.
Remember to take your time and don’t rush into anything. Keep in mind that a headstone inscription is something that will remain for a long time, if not forever. Allow yourself and whoever is involved enough time to carefully consider all available options regarding words, design, etc.
Don’t clutter the headstone with unnecessary words. Simple, short, yet meaningful, wordings are a good choice. For example, don’t clutter with common wordings like “In loving memory of”. Instead, choose words that have an impact on a personal level.
You don’t have to conform to trends that everyone else is following. Choose designs and fonts that you really like, and will stand the test of time. Besides, the designs and fonts chosen can really make a difference on the entire look and feel of the headstone so choose carefully.
While some people like to put words like “Beloved brother, father and grandfather” or something similar, it may be a good idea to use quotes from poems, books or songs that the deceased really liked, or what you think would accurately capture the feeling of loss, love, or grief.
Thanks for reading,
Karen