Blog-Funerals

Losing a loved one is one of the most challenging experiences of life. On top of this, if you have to plan their funeral as well, your stress increases tenfold. Grieving, stress and worries do nothing to help you mourn as you should, affecting both your mental and physical health. As such, it is no wonder that so many people make common mistakes while planning a funeral.

To help you out during this difficult time, here are the most common funeral planning mistakes you should avoid.

• Planning the funeral in a rush

It’s common to feel rushed while planning a funeral for a loved one. However, planning in panic will only lead you to making hasty, poorly-thought out decisions that you may regret later on when you are able to think clearer. Understand that planning a funeral is no cakewalk and that it takes time. Remember to consider all options before you make a decision.

• Not setting a budget for yourself

Another common mistake is not setting a budget for the funeral planning. As it can be very difficult to think clearly while planning a funeral, it can be easy to spend more than you intend to if you don’t have a budget to follow. Before you start, know how much you are willing to spend in order to create the kind of experience you are looking for.

• Not honoring the wishes of your loved one

Last but not the least, a mistake to avoid is not honoring the wishes of the deceased. Before they passed away, a loved one may have had a will created to express how they want their funeral to be, or they may have shared their wishes with you, a family member or a friend. Don’t forget to keep these in mind while planning the funeral.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Today, requests for non-religious funerals are increasing, but many do not know the first thing about planning funerals that do not fall in line with the usual religious ceremony that most of us are used to.

Also known as humanist funerals, non-religious funerals, as the name suggests, are funeral ceremonies which have no religious elements to it. They are simply a ceremony where loved ones say goodbye to a deceased love one while honoring and celebrating the life they lived.

If you have to plan a non-religious funeral, here are some tips to help you out:

• Keep the ceremony as personal as possible

The key to planning a humanist funeral is to keep it as personal as possible, with the focus never shifting away from your loved one and the life that he/she lived. A funeral has no set rules and requirements, so remember that you are free to customize the ceremony however you see fit.

• Find a humanist celebrant to conduct the funeral

Usually, a priest or a vicar leads a religious funeral service. But since they do not seem to be a great fit for a non-religious funeral ceremony, you can go with a celebrant who will be happy to accommodate your wishes. You can even have someone close to the deceased lead the funeral.

• Have a non-religious funeral reading

Finding non-religious readings for a humanist funeral does not have to be difficult. You can always turn to poetry and other well-known writers for words of strength and comfort. For example, a few lines from a favorite book of the deceased or their favorite poem would make a great reading while also adding a personal touch.

• You don’t have to sing hymns

Hymns are often sung at funerals, so if you want singing or music at a humanist funeral, then you can choose non-religious songs which celebrate the life that was lived. It can also be a favorite song of the one to whom the funeral has been dedicated.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Organizing and planning a funeral all on your own can be a challenging task. Considering that you had to deal with the trauma of having lost someone close to you, planning their funeral with a whirlwind of emotions can be difficult.

Fortunately, at such times, you can always seek help from a funeral director. Funeral directors are professionals who've been trained to efficiently plan funerals and take care of every aspect so that the family of the deceased have lesser things to worry about. Below, we see the benefits of hiring a funeral director:

• Allows you time to mourn

With a funeral director to carry out everything on your behalf, you and your family do not have to spend time trying to figure out where to get a casket, where to get flowers, where the service will be held, etc. In other words, a funeral director takes care of every aspect, giving you the time and space that you need to mourn your loved one.

• Can provide customized services

Funeral directors know information that you don’t and have contacts that you don't necessarily keep. This makes it easy for them to provide a  service exactly the way you want. This ability to deliver a high level of personalization is what makes funeral directors professionals after all.

• Can handle all paperwork without issues

Funerals often come with a lot of paperwork and legal documentation. Having to take care of these matters without a clear head leaves a lot of room for mistakes. And since these are important paperwork, they would need your utmost attention across every small detail. Whether it is a death certificate, insurance claims or burial site contracts, a funeral director will take charge of all these and more.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Funerals are something that no one likes to talk about. Whether it is pre-planning your own funeral or someone else’s funeral, or just the topic of funerals in general, it is often considered a dark and uncomfortable subject. Since it is hardly talked about, the topic of funerals has become shrouded with misconceptions and mysteries.

There may be a lot of facts about funerals that surprise you. Here, we talk about some of these interesting facts:

• Flowers were meant to bring goodwill in the afterlife

Today, flowers are brought to funerals as a symbol of sympathy, to show the family of the deceased that we are sorry for their loss and we are grieving with them. However, in the olden times, people brought flowers so as to promote goodwill in the afterlife, to the spirit of the deceased.

• Loud music to keep evil spirits at bay

An Irish wake is often associated with loud music being played. This was originally because in the olden days, people believed playing loud music would keep evil spirits at bay. In addition to this, it was an opportunity to confirm whether the deceased was really dead. If not, they believed the loud music would wake them up.

• Nine states require you to hire a funeral director

In all nine of the fifty states in the U.S. you are free to conduct funerals on your own without needing to hire the services of a funeral director. The nine states that require a funeral director include Connecticut, Illinois, Florida, Indiana, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Louisiana, and Nebraska.

However, even though you may live in a state that doesn’t require your to hire a funeral director, you cannot perform any services yourself that state law requires to be done by a licensed funeral director. Your state board of funeral directors can help with what must be done by a funeral director.  If you are having a simple memorial service, no funeral director should be required.

• A wooden or steel casket isn’t your only option

Since most funerals usually have either a wooden or steel, many tend to think that burying the deceased in such caskets is the only option. However, you can choose less expensive caskets designed for cremation, or even the more expensive stainless steel or copper caskets if you want something that won’t rust over time. Whatever you choose, be sure to stay within a budget with which you are comfortable.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Words always find a way to comfort us, even during the most trying times. But sometimes, when we are so overwhelmed with emotions after losing a loved one, words from other people who may have gone through exactly what you are feeling may help you express yourself better.

Here are a few of the most famous poems that can help you express your emotions at the funeral of a loved one:

• "That It Will Never Come Again" by Emily Dickinson

This poem by Emily Dickinson reminds us that life is precious because we only get to live it once. The lines:

“That it will never come again

Is what makes life so sweet”

are simple, direct and resonate with people, teaching all of us that a funeral is not just a time to mourn, but a time to celebrate a life lived.

• "Afterglow" by Helen Lowrie Marshall

In her short poem named "Afterglow," Helen Lowrie Marshall aptly captures the essence of how we should remember our loved ones after they are no longer with us, making the poem ideal for someone who has brought you immense happiness during your time with them.

• "Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" by Mary Elizabeth Frye

One of the most popular funeral poems, this one talks about how even after death, your loved ones are never really gone because they are always with you in spirit everywhere and the memories you have of them still matter.

• "Farewell My Friends" by Rabindranath Tagore

Indian writer Rabindranath Tagore, in his poem "Farewell My Friends," talks about how beautiful it is to live your life well, for as long as it lasts until your time here on earth is over, and you have to say goodbye to your friends.

• "Epitaph On a Friend" by Robert Burns

This short but sweet poem by Robert Burns pays tribute to someone who has a "virtuous heart," someone who is a "friend of man, truth, and age." It is ideal for someone who liked to live their lives most genuinely.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Pallbearers are those people who carry or escort the casket at the funeral of a loved one. Usually pallbearers are close friends or family members of the deceased, and they can be either men or women.

Being a pallbearer is a great honor and signifies that the pallbearer had a very special relationship with the deceased. Usually there are about six to eight pallbearers in a funeral as there are eight handles--three on each side, and one each at the front and back in a casket. Depending on the design of the casket, sometimes there may only be the handles on the sides.

The responsibility of a pallbearer is to carry the casket from the venue of the funeral to the hearse or funeral coach. Then, if there is a cemetery burial after the funeral service, the pallbearers must carry the casket from the hearse to the site of burial. Moreover, if the funeral service is closed casket, the pallbearers usually bring in the casket at the start of the ceremony. However, for an open casket funeral, the casket will already be placed at the venue by the staff of the funeral home you have hired.

How to choose a pallbearer

When choosing a pallbearer, it is important to keep in mind that this is a very special and honorable responsibility which should be filled only by the people who were extremely close to the deceased. Whether it is a father, mother, son, daughter, uncle, aunt, cousin, husband, wife, or best friend, it is crucial that a pallbearer is emotionally, mentally and physically capable of carrying out the task.

If any person is unfit mentally, emotionally or physically,  they can serve as an honorary pallbearer. This means that they can walk alongside the actual pallbearers without having to carry the casket.

Thanks for reading,
Karen

Most people believe that funeral ceremonies can be officiated only by religious leaders such as priests or ministers. However, the truth is that there are no rules that say that only religious leaders can conduct a funeral service. In fact, unlike many ceremonies such as a wedding, the person officiating a funeral does not need to have power vested in them by a higher authority.

What this means is that basically anyone can conduct a funeral ceremony. What matters is that the service is in tune with the deceased's beliefs or what the family sees as most fitting. With that in mind, here are your options when it comes to conducting a funeral service:

Religious leaders

Religious leaders are the most common conductors of funeral services as most funerals are conducted following a set of religious orders. For instance, a prayer or reading may be a part of the step, which is usually carried out by a priest or a vicar. This is most suitable if your loved one was religious or spiritual. You can ask the religious leader to conduct the funeral in a place of worship, and he/she may ask questions regarding your loved one or if there are any specific requirements.

Celebrants

Very few are aware of celebrants. You probably know them and what they do, but don't know what they are called. Celebrants are simply people who conduct a funeral ceremony. They are not associated with any religion or belief system. They are professionals who know the right way to officiate funeral ceremonies as per the wishes of the deceased or the family, and this includes religious and non-religious ceremonies.

Family members and close friends

As mentioned before, anyone can conduct a funeral service since one does not need to have a certain power or authority to do so. This means that even friends and family members can conduct a funeral service if they wish to do so.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Funerals are an important ceremony for people who have lost their loved ones. It is like a physical point of departure that allows them to say their final goodbyes. While there are no written rules that dictate how one attending a funeral should behave, there are some basic etiquette rules that everyone should keep in mind. 

Here are the basic do’s and don’ts when attending a funeral. Make sure you follow each and every one of them the next time you go to a memorial service. It shows respect and care for the grieving.

Don’t show up late

Make sure that you are never ever late to a funeral! If possible, it's always the best practice to show up around 10 to 15 minutes early. If there is something that is unavoidable and you are late by any chance, make sure to make a quiet entrance inside the venue. For example, you could enter your seat by taking the side aisle.

Don’t sit anywhere you want 

Usually the first few rows of seats are meant for families, relatives and close friends. So if you do not fall into these categories, make sure that you choose a seat that is somewhere in the middle or back.

Do restrain from being on your phone and social media 

Make sure that your phone is in silent mode, or switched off. It is extremely inappropriate and disrespectful to be on your phone during a funeral whether to reply to a text, or take pictures or videos and upload on social media like Twitter, Instagram or Facebook.

Do wear modest clothes 

Remember that when you attend a funeral, your purpose is to offer your condolences and pay your respects. For this, you do not have to dress extravagantly. Always wear modest and conservative clothes with minimal accessories. You don’t necessarily have to wear all black, just dark colors unless the deceased has requested something different before passing. 

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Planning a funeral is often seen as a daunting task by many. While it may not be the most exciting project, it is not as complicated and morbid as it seems. After all, when the time comes, we are all, one day, most likely going to have to plan the funeral of a loved one. Or maybe you want to plan your own funeral in advance. 

On that note, busted are the most common myths and misconceptions about funeral planning:

• Funerals are extremely expensive

Usually, funerals are expensive. There’s no doubt about that. Then why have we included this among our list of myths? Because funerals don’t always have to cost a fortune. They are expensive only because we follow the societal expectation of what a funeral should be – extravagant floral decorations, an expensive hearse, fancy catering and more. You don’t have to follow this template. Instead, you can make it more personal and intimate on a budget. 

• Funerals are always religious

Not all funerals have to be religious. Depending on what your loved one prefers, or even if they don’t share their final wishes, depending on what you believe they would appreciate, a funeral can be humanist. There is no requirement for conducting a funeral at a place of worship. A funeral should be meaningful, celebrating the life of a loved one in the most appropriate way possible.

• Pre-planning funerals is too difficult

Often, many people believe that death is too grim a subject to focus on, especially when your time has not yet come. This is why many people don’t make their final wishes known to their family. But this only leads to more confusion and disagreement during a time that is already difficult for the family. It is always better to have a healthy discussion about your final wishes with those who are likely to plan your funeral.

Thanks for reading,

Karen 

Like all other industries, the funeral service industry also evolves with time. There have been some changes in the way we grieve for the loss of our loved ones, and the rituals we follow to honor their memory. If you are looking for innovative ways to say your final goodbyes, here are some of the top trends in funeral services.

1. Personalization of services

Today, it is increasingly becoming popular to personalize funeral services so as to reflect the kind of person the deceased was. More and more people are now realizing that funeral services are valuable points of departure, and they want to make them as meaningful as possible; and they achieve this through personalization of funeral services. For example, having a theme based on deceased’s interests and passions is becoming increasingly popular.

2. Eco-friendly funerals

Being environment-friendly is now a popular lifestyle today, and people even like to implement it in funeral practices. Some examples include opting out of embalming, or choosing to embalm with products free from formaldehyde, using recycled caskets, adopting a burial technique that would save space, not introducing balloons into the atmosphere, and more.

3. Increase in cremations

Another trend is choosing cremation over burial. Although a larger number of people still choose burial, the number of people who opt for cremation is quickly increasing. There are many reasons that may drive this decision, most of which are to do with being more environmentally friendly, more cost-effective, or due to personal beliefs.

4. Crowdfunding funerals

It’s no secret that funerals are expensive, yet necessary and therefore, is difficult for many people to pay for the expenses. However, many have found a way to solve this financial issue – crowdfunding. From financial donations from friends and relatives, to using a third-party platform to raise funds, crowdfunding funerals is a rising trend. Some even request others to make small contributions instead of bringing gifts and flowers.

Thanks for reading,

Karen