The grief experienced once you lose someone can be a lot to handle, and it is imperative that you deal with it constructively. Out of all the ways you can cope, grief journaling is among the best and also suitable for many. Here are the reasons why:
Helps you gain a better understanding of your feelings
When you write, you are likely to gain a much better understanding of your feelings. Even if you feel like your emotions are all jumbled up, chances are you’ll have a more unobstructed view of your feelings when you put down your thoughts on paper. Writing allows you to take a step back and self-reflect, thus revealing things you may have kept hidden in your subconscious.
Allows you to remember your loved one
Grief journaling will enable you to relive the fond memories of your loved one. By writing what you love about them, what they mean to you and why they mean so much to you, you let yourself remember them in a positive light. You can even write letters to them, saying everything you’ve wanted to tell them. This can be very therapeutic.
Writing about your trauma has physical benefits
It’s not just mental and emotional benefits grief journaling provides. A study has found that when people write about their own traumatic experiences, like the loss of a loved one, they eventually enjoy physical benefits as well. Physical stress responses like heart rate and blood pressure tend to go up when you are grieving, but after putting down your thoughts on paper, these are likely to lower.
Allows you to record your journey in a safe space
Grief journaling allows you to let out all your thoughts and emotions in a safe space. You can record your own journey of grieving and healing any way you want, without fearing being judged by anyone.
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When you lose someone you love and care about, grief is a natural response. However, mourning the loss of a loved one is never something easy.
Different people cope with loss in different ways. While some grieve alone, others prefer to be surrounded by friends and family. Some wish to talk about their feelings, while others would rather keep things to themselves.
For many, travelling is a great way to cope with the grief of losing a loved one. Allowing yourself to be surrounded by new people in a new environment can be a breath of fresh air. Besides, it is often said that you cannot heal in the same environment that hurt you, which is why a change in scenery can be a great way to help you cope with grief.
There are different kinds of grief travel that you can go on based on how you are dealing with your loss. We discuss these in detail below:
If you find yourself grieving acutely, then a restorative travel may be the best option for you. This is ideal for those who are not yet ready to return to their normal daily lives. A restorative travel includes visiting friends and family, or people who are close to you, and spend quality time with them. Allow them to take care of you, provide you with food, shelter and companionship. This allows you to slowly come back to normal life at your own pace and on your own terms.
If you are someone who can process your emotions more easily when you have a physical outlet, then a physically active travel is ideal for you. You can go backpacking and explore a new city, or you can go camping, surfing, or kayaking. There are plenty of other options.
A contemplative travel allows you to really explore your emotions and understand your grief better. This is great if you are further along in your grief journey and you are ready to spend time alone.
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When you lose a loved one, you need all the support you can get while you are facing immense difficulties. Coming to terms with your loss is no easy task, and often, talking about it with others, or listening to someone who has gone through the same thing can be very helpful.
Below, we list some podcasts you can listen to, helping you deal with the pain:
This podcast by Shelby Forsythia, as the name suggests, allows listeners to come to life after a major loss. This can be death, divorce, illness, etc. As much as it is important to grieve, it is important to know how to get back on track, and this podcast is perfect to help you with that. http://www.shelbyforsythia.com/comingback
Jana DeCristofaro, who is a licensed social worker, hosts this podcast by the Dougy Center. You can tune into conversations about hardships that are often not discussed as they should be. You’ll get all kinds of content from personal stories to tips for dealing with grief from professionals. https://www.dougy.org/grief-resources/grief-out-loud-podcast/
The goal of this podcast is to make death and dying topics that we can freely and openly discuss without feeling uncomfortable, because they are, after all, part of our lives. Different guests are brought on the show, where they discuss various topics surrounding death and dying. https://www.artofdyingwell.org/
Hosted by Heather Stang, who holds a Master’s Degree in Thanatology (which is the study of death, dying, and bereavement), provides this podcast designed for those who are grieving, as well as bereavement professionals. As the name suggests the podcast aims to teach listeners how a mindful approach to despair can help you understand and deal with your emotions better. https://mindfulnessandgrief.com/category/podcast/
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It is often said that no matter how many times you lose your loved ones to death, it is something you can never get used to. In other words, just because you have lost an important person in your life before doesn’t mean it will hurt less when you lose another person.
Death is something for which we cannot always prepare. Losing a loved one can be an overwhelmingly negative experience, and in order to get through it, it is crucial that you stay away from unhealthy grieving and mourning or coping mechanisms. When you lose someone to death, you become vulnerable as it is an experience that affects your cognition and emotion, as well as physical health. This is exactly why it is all the more important to grieve and cope with your loss in healthy and positive ways.
Here are some of the most common unhealthy grieving/coping mechanisms that you should avoid:
A common reaction to death of a loved one is living in denial. Many people pretend that the person is not gone, or don’t want to accept the fact that they are not with them any longer, so they live in denial to fill up the space their loss has created.
Another unhealthy coping mechanism is resorting to negative, ineffective habits so that you can avoid your real feelings and emotions. People are scared to face their real feelings because they think they won’t be able to take it, so they distract themselves instead.
You don’t have to pretend to be strong when you have lost a loved one. It can be easy to pressure yourself into acting like you are coping extremely well, but bottling up your feelings can have disastrous effects.
And never be afraid to get help from professionals like grief counsellors, ministers or grief therapy organizations.
Thank you for reading,
While Valentine’s Day could be an exciting holiday full of pleasant surprises for many couples, it could also be the exact opposite for those who are mourning the loss of their partners.
Losing a loved one to death is a painful experience, and the pain can be even more excruciating when everyone seems to be celebrating the fact that they are happily in love. Here are some tips that you should remember to help you cope with your grief on Valentine’s Day:
You may think that you have to put on a brave face and hide your emotions while everyone else is celebrating their romance but the truth is that you can grieve freely without having to pretend. Don’t feel pressured to feel comfortable with the idea of the holiday. Instead, allow yourself to cope however you need to. Coping doesn’t always have to be something beautiful and positive. What matters is you get through it.
If it’s been a while since the death and you feel like it’s time to let go and move on with your life, this is the perfect opportunity to do so. If you feel comfortable enough, a great way to declare to yourself that you are moving on is to bury something that belonged to the deceased. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting; it means merely accepting and living your own life.
Why don’t you decide to be your own Valentine for the day? A great way to cope with grief is to understand your worth and that you deserve to be celebrating yourself. Do whatever you need to feel good, whether it’s waking up early, putting on some cozy clothes and drinking hot chocolate, or whether it’s going out with friends.
Thanks for reading,